


New Year

by parka_girl



Series: Not Entirely AU [7]
Category: SHINee, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 11:59:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17621990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parka_girl/pseuds/parka_girl
Summary: This is the hardest part of their time together. They have no plans to see each other again, nothing concrete at least. Instead, they have promises that they'll keep but no one knows when. The more popular Jimin gets, the harder this is. It's always worth the effort but, at some point, it will be too hard.





	New Year

It's a few days after the new year and everything is momentarily quiet. Their phones are off, the lights dimmed, and Jimin is asleep in the bed next to him. Taemin stretches out on his back, staring at the ceiling. 

He thinks that they shouldn't have this night to themselves. There are so many other things going on that they shouldn't have been allowed to get away. But, because they are who they are, it happened. Taemin turns his head, glancing over at Jimin. 

He is lucky. He could list the ways, but he doesn't want to. Instead, he'll just be grateful that there are far more interesting things going on in the world than what's going on in his life. He's not stupid enough to think that it would be hard for someone to figure out that he's sleeping with Jimin. At least they're already friends and are expected to hang out. But still ... 

His thoughts are interrupted when Jimin stirs. Rolling over and looking up at him. His gaze is a mixture of sleepiness and affection, a look that is equal parts adorable and sexy. 

"You're awake." Jimin says, though in his half-awake state is sounds more like a question than a statement. 

"I am." Taemin agrees and shifts, rolling onto his side to face Jimin. 

Jimin laughs, a soft huffing sound that makes Taemin smile. "You should sleep."

Taemin shrugs, awkward now that he's on his side. "I know." He does know. But he's too tired to sleep. Too tired with the whole world going on around him. Too tired with having to pretend everything's okay, with Jinki enlisted, the lack of Jonghyun in his life, and his hyungs not far behind. 

Jimin reaches out, brushing his fingers lazily along Taemin's face. "It'll be okay." He whispers.

"When?" Taemin asks the question he wants to ask his hyungs, that he'd like to ask everyone who says that to him. "When will it be okay?" 

Jimin shrugs and Taemin can always count on his honesty. "I don't know." He replies, looking more awake as he thinks. "I ... not all the time. Not now? Maybe not ever. But sometimes." 

Taemin wonders how Jimin knows this, but then he thinks, he did know it, too. He thinks about how he feels on stage, when he's singing and dancing. Not before or after, but during. It's okay, then. Like when he's watching TV or reading manga. Things are okay when he's with his friends or when it's just the two of them. 

"Is that is good as it's going to get?" The words echo a conversation they had earlier in the year. 

Jimin frowns and then shifts closer, nestling against Taemin. "Do ..." 

Taemin watches him struggle with the question and then answers. "Please be honest." Sometimes they both want the lies, but he doesn't want them now. 

"It probably gets easier with time." Jimin says, softly. His breath hot and comforting against Taemin's skin. "But, yeah. I think ... I think this is as good as it's going to get."

This time they're not talking about their relationship. Maybe they weren't before, either. Or maybe it's all of it. It hurts, Taemin feels something in him break a little, but he swallows the hurt, both because he wanted to hear this and because he already knew. 

"I'm sorry -- " Jimin starts, but Taemin shakes his head. 

"I asked." He replies and then leans in, pressing his mouth against Jimin's. They kiss, twisting closer together until there's nothing separating them. 

They don't talk again, content to kiss until they both grow tired. When Taemin wakes, Jimin is again asleep, but this time in his arms. They are twisted awkwardly together and one of Taemin's arms is asleep. He gently extricates himself and slips out of the bed. He makes his way to the bathroom, not thinking about anything but his desire to pee. When he's done, Jimin's awake. 

"It's ... It's early." He says, looking at the clock. 

Taemin glances at the time. It's just after five in the morning. "But also late." 

Jimin has to be back at the dorms before seven. It's not far, not at this time of morning. But still. They don't have enough time, they never do. 

"Do you feel better?" Jimin asks. 

Taemin smiles and nods. "I do." He holds out his hand and tugs Jimin with out of bed and into his arms. They kiss their way to the bathroom and then again in the shower. There's no sex, not enough time and not in a strange bathroom shower. That would be one trip to the hospital neither wants to have. But they get so few of these precious moments together that sometimes they take small risks. 

Afterward, when they're both dress and Taemin has checked to make sure that the hallway is empty, Jimin looks at him. 

"Will you be okay?" He asks. 

Taemin looks over at him. "Will you?" 

It's a question they toss at each other, both when they're together and in their private chat. There's no good answer. There isn't some sort of secret sign, no message that they can share that will solve everything. 

"We'll do all right." Jimin replies and it's a good answer. Taemin nods and, right before the elevator doors open, he presses a quick kiss against Jimin's mouth. 

The parking garage in front of them is mercifully empty. Taemin's car is parked far from the door and they walk there silently, lest someone notice them. Once inside the car, Jimin pulls at Taemin, kissing him again, harder. 

This is the hardest part of their time together. They have no plans to see each other again, nothing concrete at least. Instead, they have promises that they'll keep but no one knows when. The more popular Jimin gets, the harder this is. It's always worth the effort but, at some point, it will be too hard.

But, for now, it's not. For now, Taemin drives Jimin to the dorm, dropping him off somewhere he won't be spotted as he walks to the dorm. They live in fear of fans and sometimes Taemin imagines that this isn't a secret anymore, but they try to keep it that way. While they can. 

They don't say goodbye anymore, it takes up too much time and that's what they kiss in the garage was for. Jimin just taps two fingers on the window before walking away. Taemin waits until Jimin's out of sight and then drives by the building without a second glance, no matter how much he wants to. 

Later, he might see Jimin and the rest of their friends, or he might not. When he gets back to his house, he turns his phone on and lets the world catch up with him.


End file.
